Friday, May 16, 2008

Non-Race Reports

We're halfway through May, and this weekend was supposed to be the Chippewa Creek Road Race, one of the area's oldest and most revered races.

It's also one of the hardest. A lot of my buddies are very disappointed that poor road conditions led to its cancellation.

Me? I'm not really crying. Given my luck, had it gone ahead, I think my race report would've gone something like one of these:

Had a great time at the venerable Chippewa Creek RR on Sunday -- until I crashed out.
The first 27 meters after the start were fun and brisk (29 mph! So much for warming up in the race!). The snow and ice weren't even very bad, considering that this is Cleveland and it's only mid-May.

But somewhere around 28 or 29 meters in, somebody in a car approaching us in the oncoming lane started throwing handfuls of DVDs out the window. Wouldn't you just know that one of them found its way under my wheels? Ay chihuahua - down I went!

Funny I'd say that, because the Sharpie handwriting on the DVD said "Hot Sexy Young Chihuahuas." There was a sticker on it that mostly got scuffed off, but it looked like it said something like O'Malley and Recorder. Wonder what that means? Maybe has something to do with how the DVDs were duplicated?

The driver of that car looked really familiar -- sorta like that prosecutor I've seen on TV, Bill Mason -- but everything happened so fast that I can't really swear to anything. And it wouldn't make sense: Why would Bill Mason be tossing out DVDs labeled, "P.O.'s Pre-Teeners Pix"? He's not running for anything now, is he?

Anyhoo ... speaking of pix, here are the photos of this week's injuries ...

Or this:

Got out of the house late, shoved a banana and a granola bar in my pie hole, waited in the registration line for 30 minutes and did a thorough warmup from my car to the back end of the peloton just as the starting gun went off. I usually like warming up in the race, but I really had to pee!

Nonetheless, I did well compared to other races lately. I didn't flat, didn't wreck and didn't even get dropped until we hit the second set of rollers after the first turn -- probably almost half a mile or more into the race!

My teammates MattO and Gary were in a break with Summit's Russ Fogle and a Spin and a Stark, and they lapped me twice. But the second time wasn't until I was most of the way up the hill on Valley Parkway, almost an entire lap into the race. I think I pulled Matt and Gary for about 15 or 20 feet, so I felt like I did my part to help the team. But I totally blew.

Maybe I shouldn't have quit at the end of the first lap, but I was roached.

On the other hand, it beats the hell out of having my kid die in an earthquake!

- JN

1 comment:

MattO said...

That was the funniest post ever! I'm sitting here crying because I'm laughing so hard. All I have to say is get your confidence up for Mid-Ohio so I have someone who I can make carpool with me there and to race with me in my first post-high school race. I need someone to help me eat the day's sorrows away with free Big Macs and ice cream. Oh and I can't forget car ride discussions about how Bicycling Magazines repeats the same articles over and over again or about how you need to grow balls to mountain bike. Group ride Thursday night starting at Station Road Bridge?